


we're in foreign land (together we go)

by heavydiirtysoul



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: (Pretty much), Alternate Universe - No Band, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Love at First Sight, M/M, joshler - Freeform, this is the most cliché romance thing i ever wrote and its the best thing ever so have fun!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-23 21:09:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8342833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavydiirtysoul/pseuds/heavydiirtysoul
Summary: Tyler visits London for the first time, and he doesn't only fall in love with the city while he's there.
aka London is really pretty during Christmas and it's easy to fall for cute strangers when the whole city looks like it's straight out of a fairytale.





	1. christmas lights

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me at [spookykittyjosh](http://www.spookykittyjosh.tumblr.com)

He'd never really been thankful for mind-numbing exhaustion ever before, but as Tyler set a first foot into the bed and breakfast he had booked for the whole week he was actually, unabashedly happy about being too tired to be bothered by the dilapidated hallway, the rundown room or the squeaky bedframe. He simply dumped his suitcase next to his bed, yanked down his pants, got rid of his shirt and immediately crashed into a dreamless, deep sleep. 

It was already 2pm when he woke up, stretching lazily and yawning extensively, rubbing his eyes and nuzzling back into the sheets. He had nothing planned for his first day, so he had all the time in the world to slowly let his mind catch up with the dawning realization that finally, after saving up for more than a year, he was in London.

The city had fascinated him eversince he'd been a little child -- the amazing victorian architecture, the bustling streets soaked with history, so much older than anything he even had the brain capacity to process -- all of that had an incredibly strong pull on him, so the decision to spend his first vacation overseas ever in London had really been a no brainer.

When he eventually got up and started unpacking, he realized that there was a quite obvious error in his plan to stay inside all day and let the jetlag wear off -- he was staying in a bed and breakfast, after all, and breakfast time was long gone. With a sigh, he grabbed some money from his purse, glad that he'd decided to change a good amount of his dollars to pounds before even getting on the plane in Columbus. He hoped to find a café or something by the means close to his place, the exhaustion from the day before still clinging to his bones, and he felt like already going back to bed again. Admittedly, all of that didn't exactly put him in a mood to be outside for longer than absolutely necessary.

Fortunately for him, there was a small supermarket right across the street, and he bought a good variety of snacks and treats to get him through the day. He'd try and get up earlier tomorrow so he could actually get breakfast, and then venture out to explore the city of his dreams.

The next morning came with a surprising amount of sunshine filtering through the dirty-beige curtains. Tyler could already feel the exhilarating buzz of excitement when he downed two cups of coffee in the breakfast room downstairs, devoured a whole of three breadrolls with cream cheese and carelessly threw some things he'd probably need in his backpack. He was out of the B&B in what was merely half an hour, and the brisk early winter wind outside did the rest to wake him up completely.

He was actually here. London, laid out in front of him, a real life childhood dream come true and ready for him to dive in head first.

Admittedly, taking the metro shouldn't have been as exciting as it was. Tyler was squished between what felt like hundreds of other people, and he still couldn't keep his leg from bouncing with happiness and his face from breaking into a giddish smile every now and then. He ignored the weird looks he got from other passengers as he practically jumped out of the wagon at Victoria Station, making his way out of the building and for a moment, just standing there, smiling like an idiot and twirling in his place, taking in the atmosphere of the city.

Most buildings and windows were already decorated with Christmas ornaments, and Tyler made a mental note to make sure to come back in the evening, simply to see all the fairylights and pretty window displays.

He spent the entire day exploring, taking one of the iconic red busses to just go around the city. He took pictures of the London Eye, of Big Ben, of the Tower Bridge, and it still felt surreal to see all those landmarks right in front of him instead of on a computer screen or on the well-thumbed pages of the old London coffee table book his mum had gotten him for his fifteenth birthday. 

He grabbed dinner at a small pub on the corner of the street his B&B was located at, and he soon found himself accompanied by a group of three girls from Germany who were also on vacation, and coincidentally also stayed in his hotel. They sat and talked and shared stories for the whole evening and late into the night, and eventually agreed to visit Buckingham Palace together the next day.

The constant rain of the next few days didn't bother any of them -- they visited Buckingham, Madame Tussaud's, went to see Wicked one night, and Tyler realized that without any overestimation, tis was probably the most fun he'd ever had in his life.

Unfortunately, the girls went home a day earlier than him, so after a heartfelt goodbye with lots of hugs and maybe even some tears from one of the girls (Tyler was pretty sure she had a major crush on him), they agreed to try and meet up sometime again, maybe in some other city in Europe if they all managed to find the time and money to do so.

For a moment, Tyler was at loss as for what to do now that the girls were gone. Of course he had planned some things in advance, and he had no problem doing stuff alone and on his own, but somehow, it felt weird to now walk alone down the street he'd been walking down in company this past week. Nonetheless, he forced himself to go out, because there was one thing still on his list that he really wanted to do, and there was nothing on earth that would make him miss out on that.

He took the by now familiar metro, got off after a few stations and changed to another line, impatiently tapping his foot as he waited for the right stop to come around. 

The winter wind was harsher by now, and he pulled his thick, cozy jacket close around his shoulders as he stepped into the brisk cold, only to immediately find himself in awe upon the scenery unfolding before his eyes.

The Natural History Museum was looming majestically against the dark blue night sky, and the plaza in front of it was filled with hundreds of fairylights, and right in the middle of it all was a small ice rink, and to his own surprise, only a few people were skating at the moment. 

It was nothing like he'd imagined it -- it was so much better.

He took a few pictures with his phone before making his way over to the small booth at the edge of the rink, renting a pair of skates from an old man who could as well have been a Santa impersonator with his big, fluffy white beard and half-moon shaped glasses, and Tyler felt as if he was living in a real life fairytale.

The ice was glistening sharply underneath the blades of his skates, and the cold wind tore angrily at his thick coat and wooly scarf, but Tyler was warm and unbothered as he made his first rounds around the rink, completely wrapped up in the fact that this was real, this was happening, he was in London, ice skating right next to the museum, and he fumbled out his phone with shaking hands to take a picture of himself, proud and smiley and -

"Ugh!"

His back hit the ice hard as a stranger bumped into him with full force, both of them tumbling down and onto the cold surface beneath them, getting their coats soaked and their pants damp, and Tyler huffed underneath the weight of the person on top of him, struggling to crawl out underneath them.

"Let me -- I - gosh, get off of me!"

The other person seemed to be struggling just as much as Tyler, and after what felt like a whole minute of awkward limb disentangling and half-hearted curses they managed to finally crawl off of each other, just sitting there for a second, panting and blushing and eventually, Tyler broke into a big grin.

"That was awkward."

The other guy -- bright pink hair poking out under a knitted beanie, a huge puffy scarf much like Tyler's and a black coat -- gave a husky laugh that reminded Tyler of crackling wood in a fireplace. He scrambled to his feet and extended a hand, offering to help Tyler get to his feet, too, and Tyler took it gratefully. 

"You hurt yourself?"

His voice was just as husky and scratchy, and Tyler couldn't help but notice how well it fit with the whole exterior of the guy in front of him. He had a quite unusual face -- not exactly one Tyler would've called attractive immediately, with a crooked nose and big brown eyes and a sharp jaw, but the way his smile lit up his whole face and revealed a row of what were definitely the most perfect teeth Tyler had ever seen was enough to have his heart jump and then keep on racing faster than necessary.

"I - no, thanks, I'm okay. Just wet."

"Yeah, me too. Uh, we should probably get your phone? I think it flew off to -- wait, I think I see it."

The guy took off with two or three practiced moves and picked up Tyler's phone on the other side of the rink where it had come to a rough halt as it had crashed against the border of the ice rink. 

"There you go."

Tyler had followed him slowly, meeting the stranger halfway, taking the phone with a nod and stuffing it back into the pocket of his coat. He zipped the pocket up to make sure the phone wouldn't go astray again if he happened to get into another accident.

For a few moments, they just stood awkwardly in the middle of the rink, surrounded by lights and a few people circling them without even noticing the two. The other guy was nervously wringing his hands, then fixing his jacket, then pulling off his beanie to reveal a mess of pink curls, and Tyler couldn't help the giggle.

"Look, we -"

"Would you -"

"Sorry, you first."

Awkward laughter again, and then the stranger spoke up, fiddling with the beanie in his hands.

"First of all, uh, I'm Josh. Sorry for running you over."

Tyler took his hand again, this time to shake it.

"I'm Tyler. Nice to meet you, Josh, and don't worry. Didn't break anything, so we're good."

"That's -- yeah, that's good, I'm glad. I still feel kinda bad, though?"

Josh was fidgeting with his beanie again, putting it back on and ruffling it to sit right, covering his ears.

Before Tyler could insist on being okay, Josh was talking again.

"Can I buy you a coffee or something? To make up for it. And, you know, it's pretty darn cold, so we probably shouldn't keep skating with wet pants. Just an idea. You don't have to say yes, I -- I'm sorry, this is probably super inappropriate."

"No, actually, I'd love to grab coffee. My hands are freezing off, I wasn't as smart as you. Didn't bring gloves."

Josh's eyes shot down to land on Tyler's already trembling and angry red hands, and he shook his head in playful disapproval.

"You're not properly prepared, Tyler. Beginner's mistake."

"Good that we met, then. You can teach me all about how to dress up right for ice skating."

"I'd love to do that sometime, but first, let's get you inside. You need to warm up. You're shaking."

Josh was right -- his whole body was shivering with the cold seeping into his clothes through the wet stains on his pants and his coat, and he followed Josh back to the booth to return their skates.

"I don't really know any cafés around here, you'll have to lead the way", he admitted, and Josh seemed to look a bit lost for a moment, forehead in furrows as he thought hard, but then his face lit up with an idea and that goddamn bright smile that had Tyler's hands tremble with more than just the cold. Gosh, was he really crushing on a complete stranger in a city halfway across the globe?

"There's a small pub down the road. They have great chips and even better beer, and, uh, coffee, of course. Come on, it's not far."

There was absolutely no need for Josh to grab Tyler's hand, and yet, Tyler didn't object as rough fingers entangled with his. Maybe it was the scenery, the almost cliché romantic fairy lights, the biting cold in hard contrast to Josh's warm hand or the fact that his legs still felt a little wobbly after the fall -- he didn't know, and admittedly, he didn't care enough to investigate any further , so he just let Josh pull him towards the entrance of a cozy looking pub and gracefully accepted the fact that apparently Josh was a hands on guy that didn't give a damn about social conventions.

Josh had been right about the pub though, in every aspect -- it was small, had outrageously comfortable couches and almost dangerously delicious chips, and soon enough, they were both stuffed to the brink and barely able to move anymore.

"You feeling better now?"

"I wasn't feeling bad in the first place, Josh, but yes, thank you. Very full. Very warm. Honestly, I think I could fall asleep right now."

"Same", sighed Josh, nestling into the corner of the huge couch he was sitting on, and Tyler couldn't help but let his eyes wander again. Josh was wearing a huge grey sweater underneath his coat, black skinny jeans which had gaping holes in them, and Tyler raised a curious eyebrow.

"Telling me I'm not appropriately dressed earlier, but you go skating with ripped jeans? Hypocritical much, hm?"

"Maybe my knees just get very hot sometimes. Or it's my aesthetic. Give me a break. "

"Guy freezes off his knees for aesthetic purposes, that'd be a good headline, don't you think?"

Josh just rolled his eyes, but Tyler noticed the way the corners of his lips were curling up into the tiniest of smiles, and that was probably the single cutest thing he'd seen all day. He really needed to get his shit together, or he'd be falling for a handsome stranger in an english pub like he was a protagonist in one of the romantic novels his mum used to read.

It was almost midnight as they left the pub after talking for hours. Tyler had never considered himself a shy person, but the kind of conversations he had with Josh -- that wasn't like anything he usually shared with a stranger over a beer or two. They had talked about their faith, their families, their dreams and hopes and aspirations, about music, about fears and doubts and demons and it had felt like the whole world had stopped to listen as they stripped themselves of layer after layer until Tyler's head was spinning with one too many beers and one too many shy hands resting on his knee and pressing small circles into his leg through the rough fabric of his jeans.

Josh was holding his hand again as they were walking towards one of the smaller parks scattered everywhere in the city, dimly lit by streetlights and some distant, ever so present fairy lights, and the whole city was eerily quiet and sleepy. The sky was clouded, a thick grey curtain hiding the stars and the moon, and Tyler couldn't recall ever having felt so peaceful before. Josh's hand was warm and strangely familiar, the way his thumb drew soft patterns on the back of Tyler's hand, and their steps were muffled and sounded far away in the silence of the night.

"Was that -- was that a snowflake?"

Josh suddenly stopped in his tracks, gaze towards the sky, squinting, nose crinkled and he sniffed the air as if he could smell the apparent snow.

Tyler giggled.

"That would be too much", he found, but the second the words had left his mouth, he felt the cold sting of snow on his cheek. "No way."

Josh just shrugged and gave Tyler another bright smile, and then he was pulling him close with strong arms.

It could've been weird, but it wasn't. Tyler cuddled against Josh's chest, pressed his cheek into the warmth of the crook of Josh's neck, and together they stood in silence and watched the snow fall, arms tight around each other, and the whole situation was so utterly unbelievable that Tyler couldn't find any words to describe what he was feeling.

"Feels like a fairytale", Josh finally whispered into Tyler's skin, and then soft, slightly chapped lips pressed against the curve of his neck, cautious, unsure, and Tyler could feel goosebumps rise on every last inch of his body. This couldn't be real, Josh was right. Somewhere on the way they had to have stumbled into a dream, a different reality, maybe even a fairytale as Josh had said, and neither of them had noticed. 

"I've never met anyone like you", Tyler said, quietly, almost reluctant upon the confession, and Josh pulled him a little closer again, and Tyler could feel his smile against his neck.

"Likewise, Ty. This is.. I don't know. Special. Doesn't happen every day."

"Hmhm." 

"Can I kiss you?"

It felt like Tyler's heart was stopping, tripping over its own beat as it sped up soon after, and he merely managed a small nod, his head already somewhere in the heavy clouds above them as Josh's hand softly sneaked into his neck, and then his lips were on Tyler's and there wasn't a fairytale in the whole wide world that could describe what he was feeling.

Josh's lips were incredibly soft, and it was as if the universe was slowing down. Tyler was acutely aware of his heart thumping in his chest, the way Josh's breath tickled his lips, how his fingers drew patterns in his neck, how his stubble grazed along Tyler's cheeks -- it was incomparable, intoxicating, and his mind had trouble processing all the sensations caving in on him all at the same time.

Before he really knew what he was doing, his hands were entangled in pink curls, pulling Josh close with everything he had. He needed more, wanted to lose his mind in their touches, and he licked against Josh's bottom lip hungrily, sighing with hardly suppressed need into the kiss as Josh's lips parted willingly, and the soft moan he coaxed from Josh was enough to make Tyler whimper with want.

It was over before he realized it, and the cold night air against his slick lips was piercing and angry, and his breath was hitching in his throat as he frantically searched for something to say, anything, maybe apologize for letting his emotions get the best of him, but Josh interrupted him before he could even get a word out.

"Let me take you home."


	2. just once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (shameless smut... then angst. i'm sorry)

Tyler's back hit the wooden doorframe hard, and the pain bolting through his body only fueled him more. Josh had him pushed up against the door, wild hands everywhere on Tyler's body, and he hardly found the breath to gasp out a desperate welp as Josh began unbuckling his belt.

"Wait - Josh, Josh! Wait", he choked out, half-heartedly tugging on his hair to get him to remove his wet hot lips from Tyler's neck, and the loss of contact was agonizing. They were both panting, staring at each other like they were close to tearing each other apart right here in the rundown hallway, but Tyler knew there were other people in the room across from them, and he certainly wasn't up for giving everyone on the floor a free peep show.

"Key", he breathed, hastily fidgeting in his back pocket, and it took him two tries to get the key into the lock. Josh's arms were around his waist, hitched breath mixed with wet kisses on his neck, and God, he was already palming him through his jeans. Tyler moaned helplessly against the door as he was pushed forward, his face flush against the old wood, hands stuck between his body and the door. 

"I need to - please let me -" 

The familiar click of the door being unlocked was enough for Josh to press against him even more, almost catapulting both of them through the door, and the sheer force of it had Tyler stumble forward and hit his knees hard against the bedframe. 

"God, I'm gonna fuck your brains out."

Josh's voice was husky, oozing with nothing short of animalistic want, and he threw the door close before crossing the small room with merely two steps. 

Strong hands pushed Tyler down on the bed, and Josh had his body locked underneath him in what felt like only a heartbeat. His leg pushed between Tyler's, grinding up painfully slow against the growing bulge in his pants, and Tyler was sure he'd probably not be able to walk tomorrow.

Proficient hands unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down, Tyler kicking them off carelessly, and Josh didn't make short work. He bit down on his bottom lip, kneeling between Tyler's thighs, eyes locking as he licked up his palm slowly, a devilish glint in his eyes. Tyler felt like withering away then and there, his eyes following every movement of Josh as he let his hand close around Tyler's cock finger by finger, whining desperately as his hips bucked up by themselves. 

"So eager", Josh whispered, coarse and with a smirk, teasing. "Can't wait to be fucked, hm?"

Tyler sobbed needily, hips continuing to jerk up and into Josh's hand, and Josh's words only had him longing more desperately for his touch.

"Please", he whimpered, not sure what exactly he was begging for, he just knew he needed something, anything Josh was willing to give, and Tyler had a hunch that whatever it would be, he'd probably fucking love it.

"Okay, baby boy", Josh smiled, finally starting to move with slow and drawn out strokes, and Tyler let his head fall back into the cushion, a loud and filthy moan only interrupted by involuntary sobs. 

"Gonna make you cum, gonna look so pretty", Josh mumbled, leaning forward so he could let his index finger draw along Tyler's lips, and Tyler didn't think twice, letting his tongue dart out and his lips close around Josh's finger, sucking eagerly, desperately trying to suppress his moans.

"Such a good boy for me, Ty, so willing." Tyler hadn't known how much he was into dirty talk - or whatever it was Josh was doing, really - but the words send shivers up and down his spine and he wasn't sure he'd last long with Josh's apparently magical hands and his goddamn finger in his mouth.

Tyler let his lips plop off of Josh's finger, eyes pleading with need, a small trail of saliva smeared on his chin as Josh's hand continued to travel down his torso, leaving traces of fire wherever he touched him. "Gonna come, Josh", he choked out, the sloppy jerks of his hips enough evidence to prove him right, and Josh just shook his head teasingly.

"Not yet."

Without a word of warning, he was being pulled up by his shoulders so they were chest to chest, flush against each other, and the soft fabric of Josh's sweater felt utterly wrong on his exposed skin.

"Need you", he whined into Josh's neck, his hands tugging up the hem of the sweater, and to Tyler's surprise, Josh gave up his dominant demeanor willingly, helping Tyler pull off the cloth, then proceeding to pop open the button of his jeans, and for a moment, they both awkwardly shuffled around the bed as Josh yanked down his jeans and briefs. 

Tyler couldn't help but notice the relieved sigh as Josh was finally naked, his cock already rock hard and leaking precum against his belly as he gave himself a few lazy strokes, and Tyler was drinking up every detail he could. The way Josh's hands drew out slow movements, glistening with the first drops of cum, the way his abdominal muscles trembled the slightest bit, the way he bit down hard on his bottom lip -- Tyler was sure he could come from the sight of it all alone.

Neither of them needed to say anything as Josh let Tyler take his hand, fingers already slick with precum, and Tyler was leaning back slowly to come to rest against the pillows again, the bedframe squeaking pitifully as he pulled Josh down and on top of him. 

"Wan'ya to fuck me", he pleaded, small voice tinted with desperation, and he propped up his legs around Josh's waist. The utter admiration pouring over him from Josh's face in that moment made him wish for the night to never end.

He still had Josh's hand in his, and without second thought he guided him, pushing down onto his finger with a gasped moan, and Josh finally seemed to snap out of his weirdly frozen state, slowly pressing into Tyler until he was buried to his knuckle. 

"God, you're so tight", he choked out, curling up his finger slowly, and Tyler cried out when he hit exactly the right spot, his body reacting promptly, pushing down even further on Josh's finger, heels digging into the matress hard enough that Tyler thought he might be getting a cramp in his leg. 

Josh kept thrusting into him, then added a second finger out of nowhere, and Tyler almost exploded, seeing stars as he screwed his eyes shut, his thighs trembling shakily as he relished in the sensation of being so filled up. 

It didn't take long for him to feel as if he couldn't take it even just a second longer, the constant whimpers and moans filling the room far from quiet, and Tyler was certain that no matter how hard he'd tried to be silent before, everyone probably knew by now just what they were doing. He knew he should possibly be embarrassed, but every nerve in his body was on fire and nothing mattered except Josh's hands, Josh's hot breath against his neck as he finally leant forward and guided himself, hand giving a few quick strokes and getting precum everywhere, and Tyler was already leaking enough to make a mess on his stomach.

"Just -"

His sentence was interrupted by the red hot pressure of Josh's cock against him, pushing in slowly, and Tyler got teary eyed as he rocked against Josh, clenching around him as his body tensed up.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Josh", he cried, a neverending stream of whimpers and sobs as Josh started to move, slow thrusts to give Tyler time to adjust, and the burning sting of being stretched so wide dissolved after a few moments, leaving Tyler with nothing but unclouded lust.

Tyler wasn't sure if he could last much longer. He locked eyes with Josh for a second, hand reaching up to entangle his fingers tightly in Josh's hair, pulling him close to press a sloppy kiss to his lips, licking into the warmth, gasping softly as Josh thrusted into him, hardly suppresssed moans with every push forward, and he held onto Josh for dear life. 

Their bodies found a rhythm without needing prompting, rocking in synch with each other as if they'd never done anything else in their lives, and God, Tyler wished that were the truth. The slow heat strumming through his veins made him hypersensitive, gasping and shaking with every move, with every trace careful hands left on his body, with every treasured kiss pressed to his skin, and he felt weightless, as if he'd float away into the sky if it wasn't for Josh anchoring him, holding him down so he wouldn't fall of the face of earth.

"So beautiful", Josh whispered, one hand cupping Tyler's cheek as they locked eyes, and with a last thrust, he came, Tyler's name on his lips and it sounded like a prayer, ringing in Tyler's ears, over and over again, echoing into the last corners of his body.

Hearing Josh say his name with such meaningfulness and affection was enough to have Tyler tip over the edge, his mind going blank when he sobbed silently, Josh's name dying on his lips as he held his breath, shivering and shaking through the waves of his orgasm when he came hard over both of their stomachs, ribbons of pearly white soon smeared everywhere as they rode out the last traces of their climax.

"I think I'm falling in love with you", Josh whispered against the soft skin of Tyler's neck, and Tyler exhaled sharply as Josh slumped down onto him, weighing him down and pressing his body flush into the matress. He was mouthing lazy kisses along Tyler's collarbone, unaware or maybe just ignorant of the way Tyler's body stiffened upon his words.

"You can't say that", he replied quietly after a few moments, and his heart was hurting more than he dared to admit upon his words. It was hopeless, whatever this was; hopeless because they lived halfway across the globe from each other, hopeless because they'd probably never meet again, and the realization was crushing enough to let the warm afterglow of his orgasm disappear into a void of cold reality.

"But I'm saying it nonetheless."

Tyler sighed, tugging on Josh's shoulders urgently, and Josh understood, rolling off of Tyler and onto his back, staring at the ceiling with an uninterpretable expression on his face. It broke Tyler's heart. It shouldn't end like this.

Josh seemed to shrink into the sheets more with every passing minute, and it was like watching a flower slowly die in the last convulsions of an ending summer. There was nothing Tyler could do, nothing he could say to stop the sinking feeling in his chest, the way he felt suffocated and choked up when he thought about his flight leaving tomorrow, and with a sudden shock he realized that this was his last night, their last -- no, their only night together, and here they were, lying next to each other in bed and already feeling as if they were miles apart.

It shouldn't end like this.

Tyler sat up, cross-legged, his fingertips wandering along Josh's naked chest, grazing across half-dried cum on their way, but he didn't mind. He needed to touch Josh, needed to make sure he put every last second they had left to good use.

Josh shivered underneath his touch, and to Tyler's utter surprise he saw stains of tears on Josh's cheeks. He was completely dumbfounded for a second, at loss for words, so he simply leant forward to kiss the tears away, humming sweet nothings against salty skin.

The night seemed darker than before as Josh finally sat up, embracing Tyler as he straddled his lap, and the suppressed sobs shaking their bodies rocked them together, chest against chest. The harsh sting of Josh's tears falling silently onto Tyler's back made him want to curse out the world, fate, God, whoever was to blame for their situation. It shouldn't end like this.

Tyler's hands locked in Josh's neck, pulling him close, their foreheads resting against each other. It was more than pain, the crushing feeling in his guts, more than agony. It felt like finally finding a place to call home, and then having to set it on fire to watch it burn to the ground.

"I don't want to leave", he whispered, and his voice didn't sound like his as he forced them out like a defeat.


	3. gravity's centered

It seemed as if the weather was mourning their inevitable parting as much as Tyler was. 

Thick rain clouds made the air heavy and cold, the streets slippery and grey and for the first time this week, Tyler didn't find a spark of beauty in the victorian housefronts and the small shops administering the last rites to their time together. It was just grey and freezing, and he huddled closer to Josh, their hands intertwined in the pocket of his coat, his other hand clasping around the handle of his suitcase. 

They didn't have to talk about it, Josh just wordlessly accompanying Tyler on his way to the airport, carrying his backpack for him. 

Tyler seldomly had moments where he wished for time to slow down or just stop altogether -- he had always searched for the thrill of the fast pace, speeding through life and through experiences and towards a goal he had never really known, and now here he was, begging and praying and bargaining with the world to please, please just stop spinning for a day, there isn't enough time left.

The airport was crowded and loud and overwhelming, and Tyler could feel Josh's nervousness crawl from his hand to his own, shivering in the busy surroundings. Tyler knew it wasn't the cold anymore; the air at the gate was warm and suffocating and he was sweating underneath his winter coat. Their hands were sticking together now, damp palms pressed against each other, unwilling to let go for even just a second. 

"So, here we are", Tyler finally said, voice scratchy and choked around the lump in his throat. Every fibre of his body screamed at him to stay, to just not get on that plane, but he knew that wasn't a realistic option. But God, did he wish it was.

"Here we are." Josh's voice was just as forced and hitched, somewhere between hopeless and surrendering. 

With a scary flinch of realization Tyler got ahold of Josh's other hand, firm grasp as he intertwined their fingers and locked their eyes. These we're the last minutes - the last seconds maybe, they had together. It would never be enough. He drew in a sharp breath, frantically searching for those big words he knew he'd never find, words that would make this whole exasperating situation better. 

"You are the most amazing miracle that could have ever happened to me", Josh said, and Tyler could hear the choked back tears through the forced smile as Josh pulled him close, strong arms embracing him in a hug that was one part safe, one part agonizing. He didn't want this hug, he didn't want the closeness, not when he knew it would only drive him closer to goodbye, closer to having to accept the fact that this was it.

"I'm going to miss you so fucking much." His voice was shaky, and he hated every word for the implications it held.

"We'll meet again. I don't know how or when, but this isn't the end to our story. It can't be."

Tyler wished that was true, but he wasn't the fairy tale guy from last night anymore. There were no fairy lights, there was no snow, there were no kisses that felt like eternity. This was just the cold, hard reality of having to leave, getting on a plane and crossing an ocean and putting mile over mile between them while a part of his heart and soul stayed here. Maybe he should say goodbye to them, too.

The sob crawled out of his bones with painful shivers, fighting its way out of his throat and into the thick down jacket his face was pressed against, through the fabric of Josh's shirt and straight into Josh's skin. It echoed in the silence between them, the countless voices of people around them muffled and unimportant in the distance. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

He was crying by now, hating himself for being so attached, hating himself for allowing his heart to feel all of this, for not backing off when he'd still had the chance. If he had said no to the coffee he would be getting on that plane with a smile now, happy about all the new experiences instead of breaking in half over the loss of a person he shouldn't have feelings for, a person he barely knew. Just a pretty stranger with a beanie and holes in his jeans, nothing more, nothing less.

But he had said yes, and as much as he willed himself to regret that decision, he couldn't.

"Goodbye, Josh", Tyler said, and every syllable was a punch to his guts. 

Josh's lips pressed on his, tears staining both of their cheeks and slipping into their mouths, salty and bitter, and Josh's hands were framing his face, holding him like he would never let go. He drew back, and for a moment, they just stared at each other, memorizing every inch, every pale scar and every freckle, desperately trying to burn these last seconds into their memories.

"I'll never forget you, Tyler."

It physically hurt to let go, and Tyler didn't allow himself to turn around as he hurried through the gate, wiping away the stinging hot tears from his eyes with his sleeve as he kept his focus on the floor, on the cold tiles slipping away under his feet. 

The burning realization that they didn't even exchange numbers felt like a punch to the throat, and Tyler curled himself into a ball of pure and utter pain in his seat, holding onto his own knees frantically, knuckles white as he pressed his fingernails into his skin, shaking violently as he tried to shove the pain away, but there was no distraction in the world that kept the gut-wrenching feeling of being alone away. His sobs were suffocating him, and he almost hoped for the lack of oxygen to let him pass out. 

But he didn't pass out. The plane sped up, pressing his stomach into his throat, and he felt like collapsing into nothing but a pile of empty bones.

 

It hadn't even been two days since he was back home, and the looming weight of excrutiating hopelessness and depression was closing in on him.

Sundays we're especially grim, and this first one after his vacation felt like death was a viable option, and certainly a better one than the indescribable hunch of his life maybe never being the same as it was before... before Josh. Even thinking the name hurt. It would've been ridiculous if it wasn't so awfully painful. 

Tyler always used to cringe at people talking about love at first sight, used to laugh and wave it off as a naive teenager fantasy, a romantic novel concept that noone with a spark of sensible intelligence could ever actually believe in. But things had changed. He had changed. It was laughable, really, the way he couldn't will himself away from the notion that Josh was the one person he was destined to be with, how he tried to convince himself that it had just been the magic of the moment, and that it was only temporary, that the pain would fade and things would be okay again. 

But what if he wouldn't be okay again? What if his only chance at happiness was now sitting in his apartment halfway across the globe, thinking about him, but unable to ever get together again? And even if they managed to meet, what kind of happiness where they supposed to find when the circumstances forced them to live their lives away from each other, seperate and only connected through the dull and unsatisfying means of technology? It was absolutely rogue, the way his thoughts stumbled back to Josh even if he just got distracted for a second, the way every inch of his skin seemed to long for his hands, his body pressed against his, just being close again. He was withering away in the dismal darkness of his own mind, finding only temporary relief in the moments where he allowed himself to recall their night together, and the pain of returning into harsh reality afterwards only made everything worse.

His mum had watched him with attentive carefulness, and she decided that church was where he should be, that he should talk to God, find a solution for whatever dark thoughts were occupying his mind, and Tyler dragged himself to mass with guilty reluctance. He loved his church, loved Joel, the preacher, loved the other guys from his usual church group, people he had known since he had been a kid. But he didn't want to go; he just felt like holing himself up under his blanket and never leaving his bed again.

But he went nonetheless, tried hard to focus on the service, prayed, sang, forced himself to participate. At first, it actually seemed to work, the familiar verses of the songs, the hugs and embraces of his friends afterwards, and then they asked about his vacation and the visual of Josh hovering above him with those wild, affectionate eyes punched the air out of his throat, and his knees got wobbly and weak and the ground seemed like a good place to be right now, tempting him with hard tiles and illusionary safety. 

He fell, and someone caught him.

A few minutes and a drink of cold water later, Tyler sat up carefully on Joel's couch, rubbing his forehead, carding through his hair with awkwardness. He dreaded the talk before Joel had even said a word.

"Are you okay, Tyler?"

He just shook his head, face buried in shaking hands, biting back a sob. He really wasn't okay.

"You can talk to me. Has something happened in London?"

"Something", Tyler muttered under his breath and into his sweaty palms, that must have been the understatement of the century. Josh had happened, and that was more than any word could ever describe. Something, yeah. Something had happened.

"Someone", he corrected in what sounded like defeat, falling back against the backrest of the couch, eyes teary and puffy and red as he stared at Joel, challenging, as if to dare him to ask. Just ask.

"So someone", Joel repeated, nodding as if he understood, but Tyler knew he didn't understand. Not the slightest bit.

"Do you think love at first sight is a thing?"

Joel nodded again, firmly, folding his hands in his lap. "Definitely. I think some people are meant for each other, yes. Some feel it right away, others need more time."

"I always thought it wasn't."

"But now that opinion changed."

"Drastically." He was being sarcastic, defense-mechanisms taking over.

"So she's from London?"

Tyler cringed, shifted uncomfortably. Apparently now was the time to come clean about his sexuality, he figured, so he drew in a sharp breath and wringed his hands, nervous.

"He is."

Joel was silent for a few seconds, but he did a good job at hiding his surprise.

"Tell me about him."

No judgement tinted Joel's voice, and Tyler almost felt guilty for even daring to assume he'd react any different.

"His name is Josh. He's a musician, kind of a punk, I guess. Pink hair. Nose ring. The kindest, warmest eyes I've ever seen. He radiates happiness, you know? He's just...", Tyler hesitated, struggling to find the right words, the lump in his throat pressing against his adam's apple forcefully and suffocating him. "He feels like home. Safe."

He sniffed pitifully, and he felt so pathetic that he couldn't help the snarky huff, wiping away the traitorous tears gathering in his eyes. God, he cried so much lately. "Sorry."

Joel had a hard to interpret expression on his face; a soft glint and a slight tug on his lips as if he was about to grin.

"What's so funny?"

"I think I have great news for you."

"I doubt they're great enough to justify you smiling while I'm practically breaking down here." He was angry now, felt misunderstood and not taken serious. This had been a stupid idea, and he wished he had just kept his mouth shut.

"Josh, you said? Pink hair, nose ring. Tattoos? On his right arm? A tree?"

Tyler was one hundred percent sure he did not mention the tattoo while talking about Josh earlier, and confusin filled his chest, heart picking up in pace immediately. It couldn't be. Joel couldn't possibly... or did he?

"Wait. Do you..?"

"Joshua Dun, is it?"

He felt like passing out again. Or puking, or crying, or laughing. He pretty much felt everything at once. If all of this meant what he willed himself to not believe it meant - Tyler didn't dare to let that spark of hope settle in. It couldn't be. That would be too much, too much luck for one person.

"He plays the drums for a local band, here in Columbus. I've know him for a year now, he comes to mass in the other church I work with."

Too much. Tyler slumped into the couch, mind blank. Can't be, he thought to himself, it can't be. This isn't happening.

"Tyler, are you..?"

"Shh."

He couldn't talk now, needed to let his mind slowly catch up with that information, with this new perspective of maybe, just maybe, having a chance at seeing Josh again. Living in the same city. Being able to...

"Fucking hell."

"Tyler." Joel's eyebrows flew up into his hairline, taken aback by the curse.

"Sorry. I just -- I can't believe -"

Joel sighed, smiling again, standing up from his uncomfortable looking wooden chair, making his way around his desk and typing something into his computer.

"Look. That him?"

Tyler made his way over to him cautiously, trying to mentally prepare himself for the inevitable disappointment of seeing a stranger's face on the screen. It was still too much. It just simply, logically, couldn't be.

It was him.

Tyler's legs almost gave out again, but he got ahold of the corner of the table to steady himself, heart beating out of his chest as he stared at the screen wildly, soaking up the warmth of Josh's eyes that radiated even through the hollow flatness of a digital picture, and Tyler let out a breathless laugh that soon slipped into crying, relieved, happy tears that he didn't feel the need to hide.

"I can't believe it's him, I can't - I don't understand how... How can anyone be that lucky? How could I -- that's impossible", he giggled, half-hysterical as he wobbled back to the couch, flopped down, hiding his face in his hands again, his body shaking with quiet laughter. It was so surreal, and he thought that maybe he was in shock. 

"It feels unbelievable, yes. But good things do happen, and I'm glad it's happening to you right now. You deserve love, you know? And maybe He just needed you to travel halfway across the globe first to find it."

Tyler shook his head, still somewhere between awe and disbelief, and he gave Joel a thankful smile. 

The idea popped into his head as he was already on his way out of Joel's office, stopping in his tracks to turn around and lean against the doorframe, fingers tapping delighted rhythms onto the wood. He felt like he was walking on air, his head ten feet in the clouds, his whole body weightless and warm like he was a hot air balloon filled with nothing but disbelief and happiness.

"Hey, can you find out when his flight comes in?"

The glint in Joel's eyes was proof enough that he had the same idea as Tyler. "Of course. I'll call you."

"Thanks, J. Means a lot. I still can't --" He trailed off, shaking his head. "Unbelievable." 

 

The airport was weirdly quiet this late in the evening, eerie and sleepy with only few passengers waiting for their flights or dozing off in the various seats across the hall. 

Tyler was giddishly nervous, fumbling with the already worn out edges of the sheet of paper in his hands, feet tapping impatiently as he waited. Ten minutes. His stomach did a somersault, and Tyler was glad he had only had a light dinner. Nothing like welcoming someone you liked with vomit on your shoes, he thought, awkwardly mumbling under his breath, trying to calm his body down with questionable success.

Five minutes. He started to question his idea with the paper, a stupid sign, too childish, too cheesy, ridiculous. Pathetic. Maybe he should throw it away, but he desperately needed the distraction for his hands, kept on fidgeting, accidentally tore a corner of the paper off. Crap.

Two minutes, and then the LED screen hung above the gate switched, Josh's flight disappearing, and Tyler's heart almost stopped. Was something wrong? Was the flight late? Was there an issue? His thoughts ran wild, leaving him a shaking mess as he lunged towards the gateway, frantically searching for airport staff to ask what was wrong. 

And then the sliding doors opened, and people started pouring out. 

His eyes caught a glimpse of pink curls, and his hands stopped shaking. He froze, eyes fixed on Josh's face, and he hadn't seen him yet.

His own memory hadn't done Josh justice. It was curious, how quickly your brain could twist up the visual you had of someone. His nose was slightly more crooked, his jaw sharper, his lips pinker, his whole body more buff than he had remembered, his movements sloppier and less coordinated, as if he didn't care about his posture, and Tyler was head over heels all over again.

Their eyes met, and Tyler could see the second of utter disbelief and confusion as Josh stopped dead in his tracks, someone bumping into him from behind, causing Josh to flinch forward, but they were never losing eye contact.

"Tyler?"

He couldn't actually hear his voice over the noise from the people still streaming from the gate, but he could make out the movement of his lips as they formed his name, and Tyler nodded, softly, still unable to move.

"Josh", he said, not daring to speak up because he knew that Josh could see him, and then the moment was over. His frozen limbs finally regained their motoric abilities, and he slowly raised the paper in his hands, just enough to make sure Josh could read it.

"This is not the end to our story", it read, "this is just the beginning.", and the bright smile and glistening tears on Josh's face made Tyler's heart swell with affection. 

There was no rush when they met in the middle of the hall, just silence and smiles and peppered kisses as they held onto one another. No words were needed as Josh cupped his face again, eyes drinking up each other with a warmth neither of them had experienced before.

"Here we are", said Josh, and it was London all over again as he pulled Tyler close, only the tears tasted less bitter this time, tasted more like the future and hope and love. 

"Here we are", Tyler repeated, mumbling against Josh's lips, and he smiled into the kiss, knowing that he had never belonged somewhere as much as he belonged in Josh's arms. 

Home wasn't just one place anymore. Home was the world; it was London and Columbus and soft snow glowing in a starry night, it was holding hands and trembling lips and breathless laughter and loving, warm eyes that only belonged to him. Home was here, in the middle of the airport, home was Josh's heartbeat fast and erratic under his hands.

Home was wherever he was with Josh, and he knew he would never feel the need to run again. 

After all, they had time.


End file.
